To Be Home
by Just Call Me J
Summary: After being in the hands of the Shredder for a fortnight, they finally got him back. But before old wounds can heal, new ones are made. Self-insert. Rated T for blood, violence, language, cruelty, and other ideologically sensitive material. No slash, though, so don't worry about that.
1. Chapter 1

_This is actually based off a role-play session I've been doing with some friends on DeviantArt. We haven't gotten to this situation in the plot yet, but I'm hoping to eventually._

**_Disclaimer: _**_All I own is myself._

* * *

The disgruntled boy sighed and flopped down onto his bed. He glanced at the clock which displayed 4:13 am in all its LED glory. He groaned.

_Three hours since I got back._ He brought a hand to his right shoulder. Bandages wrapped around it and his chest. He sat up and carefully undid them, not caring that the local doctor would be livid when he found out._ It's not like I need them._ He let the white cloth fall to his side and lay back down.

A knock sounded at his door. He sniffed, but didn't answer.

"J?" came the call.

The blond sighed. "It's open."

A blue-banded face show itself.

"Hi, Leo," J said without any enthusiasm.

"How are you feeling, J?"

J rolled over so he was facing away from the turtle. "Not that good. But… alive." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.

Leonardo clenched a fist and suppressed a growl upon seeing J's back. A large burn covered the right side, in the perfect shape of the Purple Dragons' insignia. Obviously the Shredder had let Hun in on some of whatever torture J had to endure.

J turned to look at Leo, his blue eyes dull. "Anything else?"

Leo hesitated. _Telling us what he went through can wait._ "No. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. I can go now." He turned to leave, but looked back. "Unless you want me to stay?"

J looked down and thought for a moment. He looked back up at Leo. "Can you stay? Please?"

Leo smiled softly. "Of course." He walked over and sat down next to J as the human crawled to the side closer to him.

The leader was slightly taken aback when J crawled onto his lap, as a child would. _He's barely a year younger than us. And he's about the same size._ Leo looked at the nasty scar that formed a ring around the human's left arm. _Oh, J… What happened to you in there?_

"Leo?" J asked in a small voice.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear what Ch'rell said as we were running away? When you rescued me?"

The eldest turtle grimaced. "Yes. Yes, I heard him."

J leaned against him. "He said… he said I would never be at my true home."

Leonardo sighed. "You know we can't lose hope over something he said."

"I know, I know. He was probably just trying to get under my skin. Make me unwilling to live with you guys. I mean, he didn't have any proof to back it up. That's what Donnie would say." J cracked a small smile. "Don't you think?"

Leo looked away and didn't answer.

J felt something sink inside. Probably his heart. "Leo? What's going on?"

Leo hesitated for a full minute, but finally he caved, sighing. "When we finally broke into the building, the room we first infiltrated was the technology lab. Donnie decided to download their database. After checking you over when we got back, he went through them. When he got done analyzing…" He trailed off.

A feeling of despair rose in J's heart. "…Leo?"

The blue-banded turtle gently took off J's glasses and placed them down next to him before answering sadly. "Don found no error in the data. According to what the Foot scientists have documented…" he paused, dreading what would finish his sentence, "there's some force that's blocking entry or departure from your world."

"What?" J said, confused. "But then, how did I get here?"

Leo shrugged. "Apparently, that was just a fluke. It won't work again."

J just stared at Leo, comprehending the full weight of this development. A lump formed in his throat. "So…" J swallowed before choking, "I can't go home?" His voice broke.

Leo bowed his head sadly. "I'm afraid not."

The human's heart sunk until it found a nice comfortable spot in his gut. A well of sorrow was already building.

And then the dam broke as J wept. He threw his arms around Leo and cried into his shoulder.

Leo hugged him and rubbed his back soothingly. "I'm sorry, _Otouto_."

* * *

_Why do I put myself through torment?_

_I didn't mention the girls, but they also include themselves in the plot. I'm the only guy. Fun._

_You're actually told more than you might first comprehend. Read it over again to see what implications are there._

_And no yoai. Please._


	2. Chapter 2

_I decided to expand on the first chapter. Now it's not a one-shot anymore._

_**Disclaimer:** I only own myself. Hopefully nobody tries to sue me for that._

* * *

Michelangelo looked over his immediate older brother's shoulder anxiously, baby blue eyes eying at Donatello's computer monitor suspiciously. _He's gotta have a mistake somewhere in here. No way the Shredder was telling the truth!_

Don sighed, reading the orange-banded turtle's mind. "Sorry Mikey, but I've looked over the Foot's research at least five times. What I've gotten done so far on my own matches up completely. And everything that the Foot got done ahead of me is all accurate."

Raph came in. "They gotta be lying."

Donnie shook his head sadly. "Unlikely. I transferred this data from their lab computers."

Raph growled and clenched both fists. "Damn it."

Mikey looked over Don's written notes again, trying to understand all the geek-speak. It didn't take long for him to give up.

"My sons."

The three turtles looked to see Master Splinter in the doorway.

"Yes, Master Splinter?" Don responded.

The rat entered the lab and stood next to his second youngest. "You all have done so much tonight. You all should rest."

"But-" the young genius started. But his sensei cut him off with a raised hand.

"J is safe. That is what is important." He put a hand on Don's shoulder. "Come."

The purple-banded turtle sighed in defeat. He got up and followed his brothers and father into the living room.

It was around this time that Mikey voiced a question that was floating in everyone's heads. "When are we gonna tell him?"

Donnie shook his head. "I'm not sure I want to tell him."

Suddenly a new voice joined the conversation. "You won't have to worry about that, Donnie."

Everyone looked over at Leonardo, who was carrying the sleeping form of J, bridal style.

Raph walked up to him, ticked. "Oh great. Just great. Ya told him!? Why would ya do that!?"

Leo looked at J's tear-stained face. "I didn't want to hide it from him. Remember how he told us how he knew about us right away?"

"Oh yeah. He said he didn't want it to slip out later and have us be mad at him for not telling us," Mikey answered.

Master Splinter nodded. "So you extended the same courtesy back to him."

"Right."

Donnie shifted nervously. "How did he take it?"

Leo sighed and held J a little closer. "He cried himself to sleep."

Mikey ran up close. "Poor J!"

Raph wasn't please. "See? This is what I mean! His spirit's busted up by the Shredder and then ya go and stomp on it!" He stomped over to Leo, glaring.

The blue-banded turtle glared back. "He needed to know."

"No he didn't!"

"What's done is done! I'm not sorry!"

"Damn straight, you're not!"

"Raphael!" Splinter said sternly.

Donnie stepped between them. "Guys, knock it off. You're both right, in a way."

Both turtles opened their mouths to argue.

"And you're gonna wake J if you keep it up," Mikey complained, cutting them off.

Neither of the elder turtles had a response.

Donnie turned to Leo, planning on changing the subject. "Did you take off J's bandages?"

Leo gave Don a look of disbelief. "Of course not. I think he did it before I went in to check on him. Do you really think I'm that foolish?"

Everyone looked at Raph for the inevitable confirmation to Leo's rhetorical question.

The hothead already had his mouth open, but closed it upon noticing everyone's accusing stares, pretending he wasn't going to insult Leo.

"What?" he said, annoyed.

Mikey looked at Raph, then at Leo. "Okay, dudes," he began sternly, "you need to chill. If you guys argue like this, our lil bro isn't going to feel very good when he wakes up. So you bros need to get along till he gets better. **Okay**?"

Both turtles had the decency to look embarrassed that they had just gotten lectured by **Michelangelo**.

Mikey smiled. "Good. Now I'm pooped. So Leo, I need you to lay J on the couch. I have an awesome idea."

Everyone stared at Mikey blankly.

"Care to explain further?" Don inquired after a second.

Mikey groaned inwardly. "I was thinking we could get all our mattresses out here and bunch them all together like one big bed." The orange-banded turtle grinned again. "Then we all sleep on it, like in the good old days."

"Ya mean like when you and Donnie had nightmares?" Raph interrupted with a smirk.

Mikey fake pouted, but nodded. "Except with J in the middle."

Master Splinter walked over to the couch. "I think that would be an excellent idea." He sat down. "Leonardo. Please bring J to me. I will watch him while you four gather your mattresses."

"Hai, sensei," Leo replied, carrying his human brother to the couch. He laid J down, positioning him so that his head rested on Master Splinter's lap.

Meanwhile, the others had already begun bringing the mattresses in.

"Need I remind you, Raphael, that you also tended to have nightmares? Primarily about giant insects, arachnids, and other such -"

"Shut up, Donnie."

_***J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J***_

Soon enough, all five teens were comfortably sleeping on the line of mattresses in the middle of the living room floor. Donatello and Michelangelo slept on either side of J, with all three sleeping between Leonardo and Raphael.

Some time after all were asleep, J's eyes opened. He looked around confused.

_Where am I?_

He tried shifting, but he was bound by something strong. J's breath caught in his throat. _What now?_

A mew broke him out of his despair. J looked up to see a feline-like silhouette.

"Klunk?" the boy whispered.

The cat mewed in confirmation.

_If Klunk is here then…_ J hand went to whatever was holding him in place.

It was a pair of leathery arms. J's hand traced one toned arm until he found the shoulder it was attached to. Then his hand found the edge of a plastron.

_Obviously a turtle's. But whose?_ J hesitantly felt his way up to the turtle's snout. He was rewarded with a soft grunt.

_Donnie? So the rumors are true… He is a snuggle-bunny when he sleeps._ J suppressed a giggle, but he couldn't resist grinning like an idiot. _It looks like he didn't outgrow it._

J felt something rub against his shin. He realized that Donnie wasn't the only one who joined him. He focused all his attention on that general direction. He heard some light snores, but that was coming from behind the form just in front of him.

_Is that Raph back there?_

Suddenly, the form in front of him mumbled something about either anchovies or Argentina. J's mind quickly identified the voice.

_And given that it's Mikey, it's probably anchovies. And since Donnie, Mikey, AND Raphie are here - Wait… 'Raphie'? Oops. Don't tell him I called him that. Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. If Donnie, Mikey, and Raph are all here, I think it's safe to assume that Leo is also here._

J smiled softly as an overwhelming sense of security washed over him. He snuggled back against Donatello until he was as close as possible. Slowly he started to drift off to sleep.

_Hey,_ J's brain suddenly called out. _You think it's awkward that Don doesn't have his mask or gear on and that you don't have a shirt on?_

_REALLY?_ was all J could respond with before falling completely asleep.

**_*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*_**

Klunk watched as his master's human companion fell asleep. The young cat sensed that his whole pack was a lot calmer than they had been for the past fortnight.

And he was happy for this. Klunk couldn't stand it if his pack was distressed. But now all was right.

The tabby jumped up onto the the coffee table and made himself comfortable, before falling asleep himself.

* * *

_Next chapter, look forward to a new character being introduced._

_And tell me what you think of all this. Feedback is beautiful._

_*singing* You're beautiful... So beautiful! Baaah-daaaah..._

_Er, sorry. Random moment._


	3. Chapter 3

_I realize that this story is a prime example of en media res. In two ways._  
_1st reason: This story starts between when the Shredder captures me and my psychological recovery from the experience._  
_2nd reason: This story takes place in between my entry to the 2k3-verse and … well… the rest of my time in that world. Which is, apparently, the rest of life, according to the Foot's research._

_Oy._

_**Disclaimer:** I hear that these disclaimers are unnecessary. To me, that just makes them more fun to do._

* * *

J awoke to find himself alone in the bed. Grunting, he stretched, arching his back, and was rewarded with a few pops.

"Well, look who's awake."

J jumped and twisted his body to look behind him. Raph was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs stretched out. He already had his mask and gear on, minus his _sai_.

"Raph?"

"Mornin' bro," the turtle greeted, smirking gently.

J just sat there, staring at his surrogate brother, waiting for his mind to wake up more thoroughly.

"So I'm really home…" J murmured.

Raph grimaced, unsure how to answer. The red-clad ninja's silence didn't go unnoticed.

J grunted in slight annoyance, "At least I'm here instead of…" he trailed off, shuddering. _Don't cry… Don't cry…_

Raph narrowed his eyes at this. "What the shell did Shredder do to ya?"

J shut his eyes, refusing to answer.

"J."

The boy gave Raph a dark look. "I don't want to talk about it."

_Dammit, J!_ Raphael wanted to press further, but his instinct told him to wait. And while he wasn't the most patient of turtles, he wasn't one to go against his instincts.

After a few quiet seconds, J spoke again. "I smell food."

Raph smirked. _He still talks like himself. That's good._ "Yeah. Everyone is in the kitchen waitin' for ya."

J cocked an eyebrow. "Everyone but you."

Raph shifted slightly, then leaned in and put an arm around J's bare shoulders. "Yeah, well, someone had to stay and keep an eye on ya fer when ya woke up, so naturally I… uh… got picked."

J's mind picked up on Raph's stammer, and it quickly started to analyze it. He looked at his brother scrutinizingly. "You volunteered, didn't you?"

The red-banded turtle looked sheepish. "I dunno what you're talkin' about."

_Got him!_ J's brain did a little happy dance. "You volunteered," he said more confidently.

"Me? Nah. Ya got the wrong turtle, bro."

"Do I, now?"

"I didn't volunteer."

"Yeah." J took Raph's arm off of his shoulders and sat straight up, facing the turtle. "You did," he said smugly.

Raph was unimpressed. Finally, he sighed in defeat.

_Cue mental fist-pump,_ J said to himself.

"Fine. Yes, I volunteered."

They sat in silence for a while after that. That while only lasted half a second, because J thought of something.

He grinned at Raph. "I bet you came up with the idea, too."

Raph's eyes widened slightly. That was all the confirmation J needed.

Raph couldn't believe it. "How did ya-?"

"Hellooo?" J said with a smirk, "Remember me? J, your resident-as you say it-'damn fanboy'?" He had adopted a Brooklyn accent to imitate Raph. He returned his voice to normal. "I know these things."

Raph smirked back. "Yeah, whatever." He looked toward the kitchen, where he could practically hear Mikey restraining himself from bringing them breakfast in bed. "Whaddaya say we go get some breakfast?" He stood up from the makeshift bed.

J nodded, kicking the blankets off and getting up. "Sounds good to me." And Raph?"

"Yeah?"

The emerald turtle suddenly found himself in an embrace.

"Thanks."

_***J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J*J***_

Mikey paced the kitchen floor anxiously.

"What if he doesn't wake up!?" Mikey said suddenly, panicked.

Master Splinter just sipped his green tea indifferently while Leo shook his head exasperatedly.

Rolling his eyes, Don grabbed his coffee mug, stood up, and walked to his little brother.

Putting his free hand on his shoulder, he said, "Mikey, J is fine. He just needs sleep. I think he slept particularly well, considering."

Mikey somberly looked at the doorway. "Considering what he went through? Or…" the prankster turned back, smirking, "Considering you were smothering him all night?"

The genius turtle deadpanned. "Don't you dare start, Michelangelo. I have yet to finish my coffee." To emphasize his point, Donatello took a big gulp of his liquid life.

Mikey backed away nervously. "Uh… right."

"Mikey has a point, though, Donnie," Leo pointed out, a small smirk adorning his face.

"Leo!" Don whined.

Mikey ran over and, giggling, hugged his oldest brother. "I love you, Leo!"

Leo yelped in surprise as Mikey nearly knocked him of his seat. Meanwhile, Donnie downed the rest of his coffee, glowering.

Just then, the voice they were waiting for sounded from the doorway. "You know, I probably doesn't help any that I was the only one wearing clothes."

Everyone immediately perked up. "J!"

J contentedly strolled into the kitchen, adding, "And even then, it was just these sweatpants." He gestured to his apparel before sitting down.

Splinter, while relieved that J was up, wasn't amused at what he was implying, and he showed it in the way his ears flattened against his head and the way his brow was furrowed.

"J, while I am pleased to see you are awake…" he began sternly, walking up next to his newest student.

J, immediately knowing where this was going, sheepishly looked at his _sensei_. "Sorry, Master Splinter."

The wise rat smiled softly at the boy and hugged him. "Welcome back, my son."

J promptly returned the gesture.

Mikey cleared his throat awkwardly. The two broke their embrace, and looked at him.

The sea green turtle put a plate of food down in front of J. "I wanted to make your favorite, but Donnie said I couldn't."

The genius turtle nodded. "You're obviously malnourished, so your stomach may have rejected something as complex as Swedish pancakes."

"And brown sugar!" Mikey added, grinning.

"Right… anyway, we gave you something small and simple. I hope you understand."

J looked at the plate in front of him. An ordinary, buttered bagel and a few apple slices were on it, and a tall glass of water accompanied the meal.

"Don't worry, Mikey," J reassured. "It's fine."

Mikey fake pouted, but pushed the plate closer to his little brother. J eagerly picked up the bagel.

Only to have an olive-green hand placed on his wrist.

"Small bites," Donatello ordered, now in full Doctor Don mode. "And chew thoroughly. And take small sips of your water."

J resisted the urge to roll his eyes, choosing a small smile instead. "Yes, Donnie. Anything else?"

Don smiled back. "Yes. Eat the bagel while it's still warm."

* * *

_I'm so sorry! I said that a new character would be here, but at the last minute I decided to separate this into two chapters._

_But the next chapter WILL introduce someone new. I promise. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!_


End file.
